{"id":57,"date":"2008-07-01T23:09:44","date_gmt":"2008-07-02T03:09:44","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blogs.elsweb.org\/nsftmfx\/?p=57"},"modified":"2008-07-03T23:16:10","modified_gmt":"2008-07-04T03:16:10","slug":"james-36","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blogs.elsweb.org\/nsftmfx\/2008\/07\/01\/james-36\/","title":{"rendered":"James 3:6"},"content":{"rendered":"

And the tongue is a fire, the <\/em>very world of iniquity; the tongue is set among our members as that which defiles the entire body, and sets on fire the course of <\/em>our life, and is set on fire by hell.<\/em><\/p>\n

I have written the word Nicole on my hand because it is my little sister\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s birthday & I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t want to be the one who forgets to call home. <\/span>Even though it is still very early in the day, I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t want to be the one who forgets.<\/p>\n

At break there are leftover sausages and French toast & I remind William that in twenty minutes we have to be in the Soundview conference room \u00e2\u20ac\u201c a big open space with windows on two sides & chairs stacked against the walls for convenient use \u00e2\u20ac\u201c because I know he is expecting to go run an errand when break is over. <\/span>There is a woman down the street who is donating a wing chair & ottoman for our retreat center, all we need to do is go pick it up. <\/span>But we need to be in Soundview at 10 o\u00e2\u20ac\u2122clock because there is going to be free CPR\/First Aid training for anyone interested. <\/span>Two weeks ago when the sign-up sheet had gone up in the receptionist\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s office & we all had found little slips of paper in our mailboxes alerting us that there would be free training, I had been the first to sign up. <\/span>I had written my name in all caps with an exclamation point.<\/p>\n

BRAD EFFORD!<\/strong><\/p>\n

These details were emphasized because it does not take much to excite me these days, & because if it takes a day of asking a rubber dummy if s\/he\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s okay, pointing & yelling at an imaginary someone to call 911 & get me an AED, breathing into its mouth & watching the rubber chest rise & fall, pushing with two palms on the rubber chest that feels too fake but condenses into ribs too real \u00e2\u20ac\u201c if this is what it takes to miss a day of work, I am all in.<\/p>\n

In the room at 10, the instructor is an average man. <\/span>He is 42 years old (he tells us this very openly) & his crew cut is not behaving, it is swishing more to the left like I imagine mine might if I were to ever get a crew cut. <\/span>He is a fireman, & he acts like one. <\/span>He is very noble. <\/span>His name is Tom.<\/p>\n

Too quickly I realize I may be a little out of place, perhaps even out of my element here. <\/span>Here in this room, there are five of us sitting in a loose semi-circle with two dummies lifeless on the carpet. <\/span>William has chosen to get the wing chair & he does not show up for the training, even though we all expect him to & even Tom offers to wait for him. <\/span>But he never shows up. <\/span>Instead, it is only myself in a Goodwill t-shirt & Dickies shorts & a newsboy cap my mother bought for me at a wine festival too long ago for me to remember when, myself & Jim, April, Kris, & Sherylann. <\/span>Jim & April are my bosses, are everyone\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s bosses, they are The Bosses, like as if there were two Bruce Springsteens in one room. <\/span>Kris & Sherylann are the next two in command. <\/span>Because William has not showed up, I am in a room taking a CPR\/First Aid training course with a fireman & my four bosses. <\/span>My t-shirt has a picture of a cartoon bumblebee & it says \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Bee\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6the best you can Bee!\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

Oh, I am so out of my element here. <\/span>Tom only aggravates this further by mentioning right from the start that it seems everyone here is upper management & so this would be a good idea to talk about what plans are in place should an emergency ever happen. <\/span>He says this & I decide to smile & look around to accentuate the fact that this is all so ha-ha, that look at me & how out of place I am & how funny it is that he has just said this! <\/span>No one else seems to have found it funny; they are all nodding solemnly, as if the consideration of a fire exit route was the culmination of their lives\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 purposes. <\/span>I am beginning to wonder if I will be thrown out when Tom discovers I am a fraud, that I am not any kind of management, that I am just the college kid who wound up here for the summer. <\/span>When he finds out I ride around on a golf cart all day picking up debris that fell from trees & distributing linens, Tom will toss me out of the room. <\/span>Maybe he will order me to bring them some coffee & water first. <\/span>But then he will throw me out.<\/p>\n

The other four have started introducing themselves to the group, well just to Tom I suppose, since we all know each other already, & my mind has gone into overdrive to think of some way to prove my spot in such an elite CPR\/First Aid training group. <\/span>I will say something clever, introduce myself with a fake title of importance. <\/span>My name is Brad & I am the Associate Maintenance Manager. <\/span>Or My name is Brad & I am the Assistant to the Maintenance Manager. <\/span>I will say something like this with a solemn face of grave seriousness, but I will give a glance at Jim, who will chuckle softly because he is a very nice man who understands these things. <\/span>He will say something equally clever & gesture to me, reasserting my position in this room. <\/span>He will do this because even though he is almost 60 & he has no eyebrows, giving his eyes a dwindling coal kind of look, he is still a very dry & humorous man. <\/span>& he understands.<\/p>\n

<\/span>\u00e2\u20ac\u0153And you are\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6\u00e2\u20ac\u009d & Tom the Fireman is nodding his head at me at the end of the semicircle & this is the first time I am even acknowledged as being here in this room.<\/p>\n

<\/span>\u00e2\u20ac\u0153I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m Brad & I guess since William isn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t here, I sort of am representing the uh, maintenance<\/em> department here. <\/span>I guess I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m sort of a uh \u00e2\u20ac\u201c \u00e2\u20ac\u0153<\/p>\n

<\/span>\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Brad is the only one here from 10 o\u00e2\u20ac\u2122clock at night until 7 in the morning, so this is actually going to be most important to him.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d <\/span>Someone has said this, has confirmed my status in a way I wasn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t expecting. <\/span>Jim. <\/span>Thanks to Jim, ah Jim yes yes Jim thank you Jim, I can just get on with the show. <\/span>I am the most important<\/em>. <\/span>Someone could have a heart attack in their sleep, at 3 or 4 in the morning, & because everyone else goes home to their families at 4 o\u00e2\u20ac\u2122clock or 5 o\u00e2\u20ac\u2122clock, only I would be there to help. <\/span>The weight of a dozen or two dozen very old women is solely on my back. <\/span>I am like the CPR Messiah the way I will master the art of the pulmonary. <\/span>I am the Heimlich Jesus. <\/span>Maybe I will make a shirt that says this, maybe someone will find that funny. <\/span>I make a mental note.<\/p>\n

Ever since the training started, I have been telling myself that I will make mental notes of everything, & will make special mental notes for anything that is especially mental noteworthy. <\/span>I will write this down & I will turn this into a story of some kind because here I am, I am 20 years old & I am working at a Sisters of Mercy retreat & conference center & there are nuns who cannot speak because they have taken vows of silence & I am alone here every night with nothing to do but read & sit paranoid, & this is prime storytelling<\/em>. <\/span>I can turn this into a nice piece of work because I am a writer, I have always wanted to be a writer ever since I would go to church with a spiral notebook & think of elaborate stories but not have the drive to actually write them all out, so instead just ended up with entire spiral notebooks full of underlined titles & maybe two or three opening sentences. <\/span>I was the master of opening sentences; I sometimes dreamed that the opening sentences would be all I would need. <\/span>I have since read Amy Hempel\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s story called \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Housewife\u00e2\u20ac\u009d & I realize this has already been done.<\/p>\n

But this training, this training is so average. <\/span>I am expecting something to happen that I can turn into typed words later, something completely outlandish or milk out the nose hilarious, but if you have ever been to a CPR\/First Aid training, then you know. <\/span>There is an American Heart Association DVD & there is a rubber dummy & there is a plastic face shield that you must place over the rubber dummy\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s mouth to give him\/her mouth-to-mouth. <\/span>Tom says the word \u00e2\u20ac\u0153nipples\u00e2\u20ac\u009d one too many times so that it isn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t funny anymore. <\/span>We are all too at ease for anything interesting to happen. <\/span>Tom mentions that sometimes a \u00e2\u20ac\u0153patient\u00e2\u20ac\u009d will release fluids from their oral cavities (he uses very technical terms, Tom. <\/span>Sometimes I find myself filtering everything through two or three layers of twentysomething vocabulary just to get his gist), but that this is completely normal, perhaps expected. <\/span>I consider raising my hand to ask Tom the question I want to ask, but think better of it. <\/span>Instead, I wait until there is a lull in, & I ask Tom if a patient has ever puked into his mouth while he was giving them mouth-to-mouth. <\/span>Tom is not phased.<\/p>\n

<\/span>\u00e2\u20ac\u0153No. <\/span>I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t do mouth-to-mouth. <\/span>Unless my wife or one of my own children ever needs it, I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t do it.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d <\/span>I think Tom is a little afraid of germs.<\/p>\n

He mentions that there are Hepatitises A through Z these days, & that we should invest in a face mask in case mouth-to-mouth emergencies arise. <\/span>He even hands out masks that we can try out for ourselves. <\/span>Instead of strapping it around the dummy\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s head, I strap it around my own. <\/span>It is the kind of mask that people wear in hospital beds when they are unconscious & living on quiet, puffing oxygen machines. <\/span>I am trying to be serious one minute, comical the next. <\/span>Maybe I will be the Stand-Up Heimlich Jesus. <\/span>I consider more t-shirt possibilities.<\/p>\n

~~<\/p>\n

Even though we have been training most of the day, by the time we get out it is only 2:30 in the afternoon, so I decide to mop the dining room. <\/span>It is a task that I know takes me about an hour, that I know will make me completely drenched in sweat & tired from lifting all those blue vinyl-plastic chairs onto the tabletops & off again. <\/span>It is something I only do maybe once a week for these very reasons.<\/p>\n

Passing through the kitchen, I say hi to Steve the Chef, who I heard from William had sliced his finger open while hurriedly finishing up dinner last night. <\/span>Steve is white haired & he has the teeth of a Brit, but he is also a huge man in every way. <\/span>He is probably seven or eight feet tall; he talks like he is a twentysomething, like me. <\/span>Walking through the kitchen, I notice the thumb of his left hand is swathed in a bandage & cast in an alarming splint.<\/p>\n

<\/span>\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Yea man, you know I just didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t realize what time it was & suddenly I realized & it was like Oh Shit<\/em> & I was just cutting parsley man, & I just sliced the fucker.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

<\/span>\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Stitches?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

<\/span>\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Only three. <\/span>But you see man, it cut through most of my nail.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d <\/span>He demonstrates with a phantom knife how one might feasibly cut through their own thumb\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s nail while deftly cutting parsley for dinner. <\/span>I am enthralled by this man.<\/p>\n

Later, while I am mopping, I can hear Steve retelling the story to Jim in the kitchen, though he is telling it in a way one might tell it were they talking to the Executive Director of their place of business, namely minus all the swear words. <\/span>I am thinking that maybe Jim has come down from his office to hear the story because this might be a case of insurance or worker\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s comp or something adult like that. <\/span>I sometimes pretend like I am very schooled in these types of issues. <\/span>This surely cheapens Steve\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s tale of gruesome bloody horror considerably, all these underlining presumptions of adult things.<\/p>\n

<\/span>Jim stops by the dining room where I am mopping.<\/p>\n

<\/span>\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Did you hear about Steve\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s finger?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

<\/span>\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Yea, it sounds pretty gruesome.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

<\/span>\u00e2\u20ac\u0153It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s too bad we didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t get our First Aid training yesterday<\/em>, huh?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

Because our training did not involve anything about bandaging wounds, Jim is implying that we could have given Steve CPR or maybe the Heimlich for his wounded thumb. <\/span>Do you see what a hoot this man can be? <\/span>He is our boss, but he can be a hoot sometimes too.<\/p>\n

~~<\/p>\n

I am walking along the Boston Post Rd., walking directly into traffic so that should any driver not see me, I will at least see them. <\/span>There are no sidewalks in Madison, except downtown, & I have to resort to walking along the shoulder. <\/span>But I have my headphones on & there is music playing & I am going to go downtown & look for a new book to buy & it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s hot, it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s brutal, but if I stay in the shadows of the trees I will be okay.<\/p>\n

~~<\/p>\n

Downtown Madison is exactly how one would picture a place called \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Downtown Madison.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d <\/span>It is one two-way road with coffee shops & realty places on both sides of the street & the parking spaces are angled, half-filled with BMWs & other smaller cars. <\/span>I think that SUVs have finally started to go out of style, there are boys skateboarding in the empty parking spaces. <\/span>There is one movie theater that shows two movies at a time. <\/span>I have not heard of either of the movies it is showing this week; movies are too expensive anyway.<\/p>\n

At Willoughby\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s, which is a coffee shop that I haven\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t tried yet, I get one of the pumpkin cakes sitting behind the glass & say \u00e2\u20ac\u0153For here, please\u00e2\u20ac\u009d & sit down to read The Unbearable Lightness of Being<\/em>. <\/span>Then the door dings & there are these two kids who walk in, one of them has a faux-goatee & a Mohawk that is too long & not gelled; it sits like a mink throw, laterally over his scalp. <\/span>It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s a hideous thing. <\/span>His friend is taller, more angular, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153the goofy one.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d <\/span>They act like they are expected. <\/span>Who could possibly be expecting these kids? <\/span>They are doubtlessly in high school, they are maybe 17 or 18. <\/span>These kids in flannel shirts & skateboarding shoes, they throw themselves into a couple of chairs, Mohawk throwing his arm casually over the back of the chair. <\/span>The girl behind the counter who is infinitely tall for her high school age & has starkly blonde hair & thin, dark eyebrows & oddly sized freckles, she pretends like she is coming over to the tables to clean them, but she stops by the two boys.<\/p>\n

<\/span>\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Hey.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

<\/span>\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Wassup.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

<\/span>\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Not much juschillin you know.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

<\/span>\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Fireworks are cancelled, did you hear about that shit? <\/span>There\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s a thunderstorm warning, so we can\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t do the fireworks anymore.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

<\/span>\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Thunderstorms? <\/span>Shit, we can still drink though, yea?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

<\/span>\u00e2\u20ac\u0153I donno, yea, the fireworks are just postponed until tomorrow. <\/span>We can play pong though. <\/span>Sarah\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s got a ping pong table. <\/span>We can get some balls & plastic cups.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

<\/span>\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Hell yea. <\/span>I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll school your asses. <\/span>I wasn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t shit at that game til that party at John\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s house, I got really fucking good.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

These kids. <\/span>Jesus, these fucking kids. <\/span>I am trying to be calm here & calmly enjoy my coffee here & I just wanted to read my new book here. <\/span>I find myself smiling at these kids, pretending like I am reading. <\/span>Whose generation is this? <\/span>These are not my people, these kids who make sport out of alcohol & have not read a single book since school got out. <\/span>These fucking kids. <\/span>I am probably only two or three years older than them, but I feel like I am maybe forty years old. <\/span>These kids are throwing parties & getting drunk & –<\/p>\n

<\/span>\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Yea, but what about her mom?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

<\/span>\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Nah man, her mom never<\/em> comes downstairs.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

I want to call their moms. <\/span>I will stand up & put my coffee cup down, & I will, with my book in my hand, this very intellectual<\/em> book that Robyn suggested I read, I will go up to them & I will say something very clever & demeaning to them. <\/span>They won\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t understand what I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve said until I am already out the door, & they will be so thrown off by someone their own generation, their own age<\/em>, telling them off that they will be forced into intellectual conversation. <\/span>I will save these kids. <\/span>Maybe I will give them my book. <\/span>No, I will keep my book because there are three of them & only one book. <\/span>But maybe I will read them something from the book, just to prove the point that books are good, are fruitful & can break your heart or fire you up or completely floor you. <\/span>I have read maybe ten pages of this book, but already I see something I can throw at them:<\/p>\n

\u00e2\u20ac\u0153We live everything as it comes, without warning, like an actor going on cold. <\/span>And what can life be worth if the first rehearsal for life is life itself? <\/span>That is why life is always a sketch. <\/span>No, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153sketch\u00e2\u20ac\u009d is not quite the word, because a sketch is an outline of something, the groundwork for a picture, whereas the sketch that is our life is a sketch for nothing, an outline with no picture<\/em>.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

These kids will have no clue, no fucking idea what hit them. <\/span>Then I will gather up my headphones & my iPod & my sunglasses, these big outdated monstrosities that I discovered in the housekeeping closet weeks ago, & I will just leave. <\/span>Maybe, before I go, I will flick a quarter to the counter-girl & say something like, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Keep the change.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d <\/span>No, that doesn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t even make sense.<\/p>\n

But maybe I will do it anyway, if it will help make my point.<\/p>\n

Mohawk is telling some story that apparently they have all heard before, about how the too-tall, outsized freckly counter-girl this one time, after a party, man she just couldn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t hold it, we were like one fucking house<\/em> from her house, we were like right next door man but she couldn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t hold it<\/em>, she just threw up everywhere<\/em>, man. <\/span>They all think this is a very funny story, they all think they can be Stand-Up Jesuses, maybe Stand-Up Beer Pong Jesus or Stand-Up Mohawk Jesus. <\/span>I cannot stand these fucking kids.<\/p>\n

One block away, away from the coffee shop, I call Nicole because it is written on my hand & I have willed myself not to forget. <\/span>She is eleven today, & I make the same joke anyone older than someone else on that someone else\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s birthday makes:<\/p>\n

\u00e2\u20ac\u0153What are you, like nine?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Noooooooo. <\/span>I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m eleven<\/em>.”<\/p>\n

She thinks her brother must be the biggest stupid person that the whole world of stupid people has ever seen, like ever<\/em>. <\/span>Maybe I should tell her I was only kidding. <\/span>She probably knows. <\/span>It is a five minute conversation; they are going to see a movie tonight at home, & I am at a gas station about to buy water because it is on sale.<\/p>\n

On the walk home, I play a game with the songs on my iPod where even though it is on Shuffle, I listen only to two possible choices:<\/p>\n

Either<\/p>\n

A.)<\/strong> Very Good Songs By Very Mediocre Artists<\/p>\n

Or<\/p>\n

B.)<\/strong> Very Mediocre Songs By Very Good Artists<\/p>\n

It would probably not be a very fun game in other times or places, but on this walk home it is really firing me up. <\/span>I listen to \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Ruby Falls\u00e2\u20ac\u009d by Guster (A.), \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Across the Night\u00e2\u20ac\u009d by Silverchair (A.), \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Path of Least Resistance\u00e2\u20ac\u009d by Modest Mouse (B.), \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Passive Manipulation\u00e2\u20ac\u009d by The White Stripes (A.). <\/span>\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Hotwax\u00e2\u20ac\u009d by Beck comes on next, & it is one of those songs where I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t know all the words, but I know what all the words sound like. <\/span>Every now & then, I trick myself into thinking I know the words, though, like when he says \u00e2\u20ac\u0153flashdance ass-pants\u00e2\u20ac\u009d & \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I get down, I get down, I get down all the way.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d <\/span>I know those words. <\/span>I act like those are the only words in the song. <\/span>Those & \u00e2\u20ac\u0153karaoke weekend at the suicide shack.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

Oh, & the clouds. <\/span>I am going to write about the clouds when I get back. <\/span>Maybe that will be the first thing I will write about, & then the rest will be a sort of inverse-flashback told in first-person narrative type deal. <\/span>The clouds while I am walking, they are distended & broken into manageable chunks. <\/span>I cannot place my finger on what they look like. <\/span>That\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s it. <\/span>They look like putting half & half in coffee, the way it separates & floats. <\/span>I will write that the clouds are like floating milk in my coffee. <\/span>That will be nice imagery, something people can relate to. <\/span>I will not write that they are horribly discolored because my sunglasses are tinted dark orange & it is not so bright anymore that they are necessary, but I am wearing them anyway because they make the clouds look more wrong. <\/span>I will not write that because that is not interesting to people & I only want to write about what is real & interesting, not just what is real.<\/p>\n

I want to write about the little notecard-sized note that April Lee has on her desk in the receptionist\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s office. <\/span>It has a smiley face on it, with the words \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t Forget to Smile!\u00e2\u20ac\u009d <\/span>I want to write about it because it looks handwritten, it is definitely not something pre-manufactured. <\/span>It is something more akin to a mental note, to remind April Lee that she must be smiling because this is her job & this is her role & here, see your purpose? <\/span>Your purpose is that you must not forget to smile. <\/span>You must answer the phone & redirect the calls & sort the mail after William picks it up from the post office. <\/span>And you must not forget to smile, Don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t Forget to Smile!<\/p>\n

Perhaps I will write about that, & I will write about the kids, those fucking kids, & I will write about Tom & the dummies, & perhaps even I will admit that I went to a coffee shop today just to read a book & that it was worth mentioning. <\/span>& perhaps it was.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

And the tongue is a fire, the very world of iniquity; the tongue is set among our members as that which defiles the entire body, and sets on fire the course of our life, and is set on fire by … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[308],"class_list":["post-57","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-memoir"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.elsweb.org\/nsftmfx\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/57","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.elsweb.org\/nsftmfx\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.elsweb.org\/nsftmfx\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.elsweb.org\/nsftmfx\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/8"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.elsweb.org\/nsftmfx\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=57"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.elsweb.org\/nsftmfx\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/57\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.elsweb.org\/nsftmfx\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=57"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.elsweb.org\/nsftmfx\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=57"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.elsweb.org\/nsftmfx\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=57"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}